sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
