Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
