I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
