Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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