you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
