No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
