New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
