Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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