i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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