I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize