I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
