"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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