She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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