I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
