Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
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