Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Couch. On fire.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
