last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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