so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
