he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
