i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
