Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
