we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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