I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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