come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
