hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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