He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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