You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
