I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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