Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
