Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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