Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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