Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
