I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
