So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
