Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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