i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
