Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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