just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
