Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
