that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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