I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
