I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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