My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
