wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
