You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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