C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
we're so committed to being not committed
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
