at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
