We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
im on a boat
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