Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just gift wrapped bread.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
