my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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