I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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