Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
