It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
