I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize